大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫作 3-What a Good Sentence Is

1、College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptPart 3What Is an Effective Sentence This is where we learn to see what a good sentence should be like.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptWhat is a good sentence?nA good sentence sho

2、uld have the following qualities:n1) unity;n2) coherence ;n3) conciseness；n4) emphasis；n5) variety.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptUnity(一致性)nA unified sentence expresses a single complete thought. It does not contain ideas that are not closely related, n

3、or does it express a thought that is not complete itself.e.g: n* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.nImproved: Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptUnity(一致性)e.g:n* Born in a small town in South

4、 China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.nImproved: He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory(音樂(lè)學(xué)校). In the 70s, he became a famous musician.nImproved: Although he was born in a small town,

5、 he grew up to be a famous musician.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)nCoherence means clear and reasonable connections between parts.nIt is not coherent if it has faulty parallel constructions, dangling or misplaced modifiers, pronouns with a

6、mbiguous reference, confusing shift in person and number, or voice, tense, and mood.e.g：n* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.nImproved: Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)faulty

7、 parallel constructionse.g：n* A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.nRevised: 1) A man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does. 2) A man is judged not only by his words but also by his deeds.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li

8、Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)faulty parallel constructionse.g：n* We thought she was charming, intelligent and a very capable young women.nRevised: 1) We thought she was charming, intelligent and very capable. 2) We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman.College English De

9、p.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)faulty parallel constructionse.g：n* We have great faith and high hopes for her.nRevised: We have great faith in and high hopes for her.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)p

10、ronoun with ambiguous referencee.g：n* She told my sister that she was wrong.nRevised: 1) Im wrong, she said to my sister. 2) She admitted that she was wrong and said to my sister. 3) You were wrong, she said to my sister. 4) My sister was told that she was wrong.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangC

11、ollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)pronoun with ambiguous referencee.g：n* He was knocked down by a bike, but it was not serious.nRevised: 1) He was knocked down by a bike, but was not seriously hurt.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoher

12、ence(連貫性)dangling modifierse.g：n* On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!nRevised: 1) When the teacher entered the classroom, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!. 2) On entering the classroom, the teacher was greeted by the students, who stood up and said,

13、Good Morning!College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)dangling modifierse.g：n* Looking out of the window, the grassland goes as far as the eyes can reach.nRevised: 1) Looking out of the window, he/she/I can see the grassland going as far as the eyes

14、can reach. 2) Outside the window, the grassland goes as far as the eyes can reach.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsman.nRevised: 1) I read an interesting story ab

15、out sportsman in a magazine. 2) In a magazine I read an interesting story about sportsman.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.nRevised: 1) The idea he first mentioned sounded

16、good. 2) The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* She bought several books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children.nRevised: 1) She bought several boo

17、ks for her children and put them into her bag. 2) She put into her bag the books she had bought for her children.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.

18、nRevised: 1) He gave a reason, which nobody believed, for not attending the meeting. 2) He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, a reason which nobody believed.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)confusing change in persone.g：n* An import

19、ant thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not copy.nRevised: An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, he/she should not copy.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)confusing c

20、hange in numbere.g：n* Those who wish to take maths are expected to sign his name on this sheet of paper.nRevised: Those who wish to take maths are expected to sign their names on this sheet of paper.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)confusing

21、changing moode.g：n* Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. Dont rely on your teachers help.nRevised: Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. They should not rely on their teachers help.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU

22、 Li Ganggang精選pptCoherence(連貫性)confusing change in voice e.g：n* She reviewed the lesson taught last week and all the exercises assigned by the teacher were done.nRevised: She reviewed the lesson taught last week and (she) did all the exercises assigned by the teacher.College English Dep.,YCU Li Gang

23、gangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptConciseness(簡(jiǎn)明) nA sentence should contain no unnecessary words. nIf the idea is fully/clearly expressed, the fewer words are used, the better.e.g：n* It was blue in color.n* Mary is a quiet and careful woman.nRevised: nIt was blue.nMary is quiet and caref

24、ul.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptConciseness(簡(jiǎn)明) delete unnecessary repetitione.g：n* He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.n* In my opinion, I think your plan is doable.nRevised: nHe gave many reasons for the

25、failure, but none of them was convincing.n* In my opinion, your plan is doable.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptConciseness(簡(jiǎn)明) change sentence structuree.g：n* There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the tr

26、ees around it.nRevised: n1) The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.n2) The pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.n3) On the top of the mountain was a giant pine tree which towered over the trees around it.Colle

27、ge English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) nWhen there is an important idea, it should be expressed with emphasis. nWays of emphasis include: n1) using emphatic sentencesn2) using emphasis within sentenceCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English

28、Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emphatic sentences nEmphatic sentences include:n1) short sentences;n2) sentence fragments;n3) inverted sentences(倒裝句);n4) balanced sentences;n5) periodic sentences;College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出

29、) using emphatic sentences nEmphatic sentences include:n6) imperative or exclamatory sentences;n7) rhetorical questions;n8) negative-positive statements;n9) sentences with repeated words or phrases.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emph

30、atic sentencese.g: n The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.using short sentences and sentence fragmentCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) In rushed the

31、 noisy children.n2) The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life.using inverted sentence(倒裝)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) You call that a good play? What is good about it?n2) I didnt get a tic

32、ket for the opera. How could I?n3) Didnt I tell you that you must not touch this machine?using rhetorical questions(修辭問(wèn)句)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) The delegates shouted and quarreled. It was not a meet

33、ing; it was a farce(鬧劇).n2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.using negative-positive statements(修辭問(wèn)句)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) Government of t

34、he people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.n2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.using repeated words or phrases(修辭問(wèn)句)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) em

35、phasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào)) nEmphasis within sentences include:n1) Placing;n2) repetition;n3) verb and active voice;n4) complex sentence;n5) a series of short sentences;n6) emphatic words and phrasesn7) alliteration (頭韻)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEm

36、phasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) There is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old, in the templen2) In the temple there is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old.Placing：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphas

37、is within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) Wang Bing is modest and hardworking and is a good student.n2) Modest and hardworking, Wang Bing is a good student.n3) Wang Bing is a good student, modest and hardworking.Placing：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突

38、出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) At the sight of the disorderly crowd, he was aware that something bad would be possible.n2) The moment he saw the disorderly crowd, he knew that something bad would happen.The verb and active voice：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU

39、 Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) We planted many trees yesterday.n2) Many trees were planted yesterday.The verb and active voice：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: nThe p

40、rofessor walked into the classroom and he carried a bag of books with him.n1) The professor walked into the classroom, carrying a bag of books with him.n2) The professor walked into the classroom with a bag of books with him.Subordination：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU

41、Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) Lee, a new student from a southern province, speaks a dialect which is difficult for us to understand.n2) Lee is a new student. He comes from a southern province. He speaks a dialect. We find it hard to understand his dialect.A series of short sentences：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang精選pptEmphasis(重點(diǎn)突出) emphasis within sentence(句內(nèi)強(qiáng)調(diào))e.g: n1) This is the very dictionary I have been looking for.n2) The director him