雅思大作文探秘：看似遙不可及的7分.docx

智課網(wǎng)IELTS備考資料雅思大作文探秘：看似遙不可及的7分 摘要： 究竟怎樣的文章，才能得到考官的青睞，最終幸運(yùn)的得到7分的分?jǐn)?shù)呢？ 現(xiàn)在的年輕人總是會(huì)發(fā)出“理想很豐滿，現(xiàn)實(shí)很骨感”這樣的感嘆，來(lái)表達(dá)對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的無(wú)奈。而在 雅思 寫作考試中，考生們又何嘗不會(huì)經(jīng)歷這種無(wú)奈呢？寫作7分是許多考生夢(mèng)寐以求的分?jǐn)?shù)，但即使是一些外籍教師所撰寫的范文，在考官筆下也不過(guò)是7-8分！對(duì)于國(guó)內(nèi)大多數(shù)雅思考生而言，7分似乎是可望而不可及的。那么，究竟怎樣的文章，才能得到考官的青睞，最終幸運(yùn)的得到7分的分?jǐn)?shù)呢？ 一Task response 1. 具體要求 Task response表示任務(wù)的完成。在官方給出的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，7分有這樣的要求： 1. Address all parts of the task, 2. Present a clear position throughout the response, 3. Present, extend and support main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus. 回答了題目要求的所有問題。整篇文章觀點(diǎn)鮮明。詳細(xì)的解釋和論證了觀點(diǎn)。 2. 范例評(píng)析 劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2 Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 1. 考生需要對(duì)題目中的兩個(gè)相反的觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行分析，不能只分析自己傾向的觀點(diǎn)。即：固定不變的定罪制度有何作用；依據(jù)犯罪動(dòng)機(jī)和環(huán)境靈活的定罪制度有何作用。 2. 考生需要非常清楚的表明自己的觀點(diǎn)，即回答應(yīng)當(dāng)如何對(duì)罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。 3. 考生對(duì)于題目中兩個(gè)相反觀點(diǎn)的分析需要擺出充足的論據(jù)，提出自己的理由并通過(guò)例子來(lái)證明。 7.5分考生范文選段：對(duì)固定不變的定罪制度的分析 On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts. 1. 觀點(diǎn)：固定的懲罰制度對(duì)社會(huì)有威懾力。（fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society。） 2. 理由：考慮犯罪成本（reconsider committing crimes in the first place） 3. 擴(kuò)展結(jié)果：有利于社會(huì)穩(wěn)定（lead to social stability and security through minimizing the number of crimes committed.） 4. 理由：如果沒有固定的定罪制度，會(huì)使犯罪分子更猖狂。（If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of , penal decisions would be largely arbitrary.） 5. 擴(kuò)展結(jié)果：犯罪分子逍遙法外，不利于司法公正。（criminals getting away with their crimes and a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.） 3. 對(duì)策 復(fù)習(xí)真題，找生詞 在考題中，經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)核心詞匯的重復(fù)，比如：distance learning, criminal等。建議考生們可以在復(fù)習(xí)寫作時(shí)，先把近兩年的寫作題目過(guò)一遍，查查生詞。這樣做可以大大降低考生在作文題中遭遇生詞的尷尬，提高審題的準(zhǔn)確性。 掌握不同題型大作文的寫作重點(diǎn) 觀點(diǎn)類：可以支持、反對(duì)、中立，一定要表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)。論據(jù)要充分，舉例不可或缺。 分析解決類：所問即所答，重點(diǎn)分析原因，解決方法多角度。 八大話題，重點(diǎn)突破 在考題中，“教育，科技，環(huán)保，全球化，政府，媒體，工作，社會(huì)生活”為?？嫉陌舜笤掝}。復(fù)習(xí)重點(diǎn)有以下幾方面：1. 每個(gè)話題的核心詞匯要爛熟于心。2. 每個(gè)話題要積累至少兩個(gè)可以作舉例論證的實(shí)例。3. 每個(gè)話題至少選擇兩道題目做brainstorming思路拓展練習(xí)。4. 每個(gè)話題要至少積累兩篇范文。5. 每個(gè)考生對(duì)自己不熟悉的話題，要加強(qiáng)以上練習(xí)。 二 Coherence and cohesion 1. 具體要求 Coherence and cohesion表示連貫統(tǒng)一。在官方給出的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，7分有這樣的要求： 1. Logically organizes information and ideas; there is a clear progression throughout 2. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under/over-use 3. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph 文章結(jié)構(gòu)富有邏輯性。正確使用多種銜接方法。每段話的中心思想明確。 2. 范例評(píng)析 劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2 Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 7.5分考生范文選段：考生回答應(yīng)當(dāng)如何對(duì)罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。 In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thieves stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment. 1. 中心思想：對(duì)于犯罪分子的定罪應(yīng)該有折中的方法，這才是保證公平公正的方法。（an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.） 2. 段落結(jié)構(gòu)一分為二： 固定下來(lái)定罪的底線和上線，舉例“競(jìng)爭(zhēng)法”。 定罪要有免罪的特殊處理。舉例“饑荒時(shí)偷食物的行為”和“正當(dāng)防衛(wèi)”。 3. 銜接的處理：文中加粗的部分（包含連接詞，代詞等）。 3. 對(duì)策 代詞 代詞包括人稱代詞，物主代詞和一些特定的詞語(yǔ)。代詞的使用能夠提高表達(dá)的統(tǒng)一性。 同義詞，反義詞等意義相互關(guān)聯(lián)的詞 恰當(dāng)使用一些相關(guān)或相同概念的詞，能夠達(dá)到整篇文章自然擴(kuò)展的效果。 連接詞 連接詞是實(shí)現(xiàn)段落內(nèi)部表達(dá)連貫的最主要的手段。它能夠增進(jìn)句與句，或者段與段之間的邏輯關(guān)系。 三Lexical resource 1. 具體要求 Lexical resource表示詞匯。在官方給出的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，7分有這樣的要求： 1. Uses sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision 2. Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation 3. May produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation 靈活并且準(zhǔn)確使用各種詞匯。正確搭配和使用不太普通的短語(yǔ)。 2. 范例評(píng)析 劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2 Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 7.5分考生范文選段：固定不變的定罪制度和分情況靈活的定罪制度 On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts. On the other hand, taking the circumstance of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next. 1. 詞匯的多樣使用： 認(rèn)為consider 重新考慮reconsider 思考consideration 懲罰（動(dòng)詞）Punish 懲罰（名詞）punishment 懲罰的penal 犯罪Crime 罪犯criminal 2. 短語(yǔ)的多樣使用： 服從be subject to 判罪be convicted with 犯罪commit crimes 判決某人有某罪convince sb of sth 方法the approach of 考慮到take sth into consideration 被指控be accused of 前提a prerequisite for 與某事相提并論be compared to 理由reason for 3. 對(duì)策 題干核心詞與短語(yǔ) “題干核心詞與短語(yǔ)”是指在每個(gè)話題的題目中，會(huì)有一些出現(xiàn)頻率比較高的名詞或短語(yǔ)。雅思議論文題目雖多，但是可以按話題分為八大類：教育，科技，環(huán)境與動(dòng)物，媒體與廣告，政府，工作與生活，語(yǔ)言與文化，法律與犯罪。復(fù)習(xí)以 雅思寫作 機(jī)經(jīng)為主，關(guān)注近兩年的寫作題目。 素材核心詞與短語(yǔ) “素材核心詞與短語(yǔ)”主要是指某一類話題作文常會(huì)論證的角度，一般是由一些“實(shí)意詞”為主。建議考生按照話題大量研讀范文的主題句或是支持句，去積累和總結(jié)。 四Grammatical range and accuracy 1. 具體要求 Grammatical range and accuracy表示語(yǔ)法的準(zhǔn)確性和多樣性。在官方給出的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，7分有這樣的要求： 1. Uses a variety of complex structures 2. Produces frequent error-free sentences 3. Has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors 能夠使用各種復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)。句子無(wú)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。能夠正確使用語(yǔ)法和標(biāo)點(diǎn)。 2. 范例評(píng)析 劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2 Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 7.5分考生范文選段： On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts. On the other hand, taking the circumstance of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next. 1. 非謂語(yǔ) On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. Thi